Invitations | FAQ's | Helpful Hints
Invitations
Who to Invite
If the person was present at your wedding shower you really should invite them to your wedding. If you invite someone to the shower but not to the wedding they may feel they were only invited to the shower because you wanted gifts from them. These are probably your parents’ friends and family, so these guests should have been on your parents’ section of the guest list. This decision is up to you on whether or not to invite them but you or your parents may find this will create a conflict.
Basic Rules of Wording your Wedding Invitations
- When phrasing your wedding invitation it is to be worded in the third person
- Do not use punctuation at the end of the lines (commas, periods, colons etc..); however commas are used within lines to separate the day from the date, the city from the state and a man’s surname from: Jr/junior/II”, etc.
- Do not use abbreviations. You should either spell out a name or leave it out. :”John James Winslow” not “John J. Winslow”. “Road, Street, Avenue, Reverend, Doctor and all military titles should be spelled out. Exceptions are: “Mr.” and “Mrs.” Many etiquette specialists prefer that “junior” be spelled out. When it is spelled out, the “j” is not capitalized.
- Always spell out “days, dates, and times.”
- Capitalize only proper nouns (names of people, places, cities, states, name of the day of the week and month. Exceptions are the year line “Two thousand” or where the noun is the beginning of a new sentence or thought (“T” in “The favor of a reply is requested” or “Reception to follow”)
- Always be consistent with your usage of “honour/favour. Traditionally the formal British spelling with the “u” is preferred in proper wedding etiquette but whichever form you choose use it in both words.
- Do not write “no children please” on the invitation. It is considered socially incorrect. The request for “Black tie” does not traditionally appear on the invitation. If the event takes place after six o’clock your guests normally would assume that it is a formal event. If you are concerned they may not know you may write “Black tie” as a right footnote on your reception card. Note the “B” in “Black tie is capitalized but not the “t”.
- It is a big no-no for you to indicate on your invitation that you would like to receive money. It is considered extremely socially incorrect to make mention of the gifts on the invitation on the theory that we should expect nothing from our friends except their presence therefore never list where you are registered or your desire for money rather than presents. The only slight exception to this strict rule is for shower invitations where it is permitted to list the theme of the gifts (“Kitchen”, etc.) but never where one is registered or any mention whatsoever of money.
FAQ's
How to address the invitation
Unmarried Couples
Couples who live together receive a single invitation because they are a couple. Address it the same way you would address the invitation of a married couple with different names –alphabetically, on separate lines on the outer envelope.
Ms. Anne Seymour
Mr. John Windsor
The inner envelope should read:
Ms. Seymour and Mr. Windsor
Or
Anne and John
Widowed and Divorced
Addressing an invitation to a widow is traditionally addressed as “Mrs. George Smith”, but if you feel that the guest would not want to be addressed in this manner it is perfectly acceptable to ask her how she would prefer to be addressed. A divorced woman using her married name should be addressed as “Ms. Katherine Webber.” If the couple does not live together you should send them each their own invitation.
Married Doctors
When the husband and wife are both doctors the outer and inner envelope should be addressed to:
“The Doctors DeMarco.” If they’re married, but have different last names, list both names in alphabetical order (on separate lines): “Dr. DeMarco” and on the next line, “Dr. Silverman.”
If the woman is a doctor and her husband is not you should list the spouse with the professional title first. On the outer envelope: “Dr. Christine Silverman and Mr. Josiah Silverman.” or, “Dr. Christine Silverman and Mr. Josiah Silverman.” The inner envelope should read: “Dr. Silverman and Mr. Silverman” or “Dr. and Mr. Silverman.”
Same Sex Couples
Because you won’t be addressing the invitation as “Mr. and Mrs.”, for a formal invite you’ll probably want to address it in this way: On the first line “Mr. Paul Mende” and his partners name on the second line “Mr. Ben Winters.” You should list their name in alphabetical order. If they have had a commitment ceremony and one has taken the others name you can address it as “Paul and Ben Winters.” The inner envelope should read “The Winters.”
Inviting Single Guests
An invitation sent without “and Guest” or another name should tell the guest that the invitation is meant for them alone. If you are having a small wedding you probably aren’t going to invite everyone to bring an escort unless it is a fiancé or if they are in a serious relationship. If they respond to the invitation indicating they are bringing a guest, call them up and explain that you are having a small intimate wedding and, unfortunately, you were not able to include their guest.
Helpful Hints
Give your Guests a secret number!
When assembling your guest list, give each address a number. Write this number lightly, in pencil, on the back of your response card prior to mailing. If guests forget to write their name on the card, or if you can’t read their writing, you know who is responding.
Why should I order KwikSeal Self-Sealing Envelopes?
KwikSeal Self-Sealing Envelopes are available with most invitations and save time and effort when mailing your wedding invitations. Simply uncover the self-adhesive edge by peeling off the protective strip and press closed. Save even more time when your choose to print your address on the back of these envelopes.
Why is it so important to put your address on the back of the invitation envelope?
Nobody is perfect! Should you have an error on your guest list, the invitation will be returned to you by the post office. Otherwise you will never know if you invitation did not arrive. For a minimal charge, you can have your return address printed on the invitation envelope in a matching ink color and lettering style when your invitations are being printed.
Why do you send a Response Card?
Response cards are a convenient way for your guests to reply and for you to plan properly. They save you money on your reception cost, especially if a meal is being served, by allowing you to keep track of an exact head count. If you are offering a meal choice, this can also be indicated on this card. Response cards include a reply envelope printed with your name and address. Do not forget to affix stamps on the reply envelope.
Why is using the correct Postage most important?
Before addressing your invitations, put together a complete invitation ensemble with all of your enclosure cards and envelopes. Bring your invitation ensemble to your local post office and have them weigh it to determine the proper amount of postage. Invitations that are over 1 ounce, or square or oversized require extra postage. If your invitations are returned for insufficient postage, your envelopes will be ruined and redoing them will not only cost you more money, but will interfere with your time frame. While at the post office, ask the postal clerk to show you their beautiful wedding stamps.
When do I order my invitations and how many do I order?
Be sure to have confirmed details of your ceremony and reception before ordering your invitations. This includes the date, time and the location(s). You should also have an accurate head count. Order one invitation for each single adult, couple or family invited. We suggest that you order an extra 25 invitations when placing your order now. If you need to order 25 more at a later date, it will cost more and may delay sending your invitations.
When do I send out my wedding invitations?
Invitations traditionally are sent 6 to 8 weeks before the wedding. Send a “Save the Date card” 4 to 6 months before your wedding to notify guests that you are getting married, especially if it is during a holiday weekend or if they need to travel. This will provide plenty of notice if travel arrangements and hotel reservations are required.
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